I Know it's Over

Well, trip to the physio on Thursday last week resulted in the confirmation of the news that I thought was most likely; no marathon at Melbourne in 2014 for me this year. Given that this whole blog was set up to chart my (hopefully triumphant) return, it now has to deal with the disappointment that I feel that I can no longer make it. Given the effort I had put in during the first 6 months of the year, I should be really shattered about not going. And given that only 7 days ago I was talking up my chances about hitting the start line, and possibly running with friends, it has suddenly become plain to me that it just won't happen. And yes, I feel gutted, sad and just a bit empty, but I've had a few days to contemplate this now, and once I overcame the initial raw feeling, I settled down to a quiet resignation.

Initial diagnosis was grade 1. Think it was more like grade 2. 

At least now I am not in some mad rush of rehab, pushing the envelope of recovery to get myself to the start line in some form or another. With the decision made, I can concentrate on getting myself 100% and looking towards future goals. Will I tackle the marathon again? Never say never, but I must admit it is not just any marathon, it is Melbourne that has got me hooked. Can't quite explain why, just seems to be the race that I'm compelled to nail as a marathon. Many tell me there are other, better races to run, but Melbourne is the one I want to come back to. Oh well, see what the future brings....

Interestingly, it was the physio who was talking up my prospects of getting to Melbourne. And I was the one going, "Nah, don't think so". See a few days before, I started doing the maths; how many days and sessions I had missed, how many I was still going to miss, how soon before the race was I going to be back to some sort of level of fitness etc. It looked like some crazy hi-octane, drug-fuelled Vegas gambling long shot; replete with high stakes win, or financial ruin, but minus the statuesque blonde and George Clooney in a supporting Oscar nominated role. The more I crunched the numbers, the less likely it was I was going to have good odds, or any odds worth laying money on. Despite the continual improvement in the injury (yes, some days are better than others, the full roller coaster ride of rehab), the fact is I am still not sure when I can resume running of any nature. Could be next week, could be 3 weeks, could be longer. (Potentially up to 6!)

Not mine, but it looked very similar!

Once the physiotherapist accepted that I wasn't pushing any more for October 12 for the marathon, he suggested I drop back and do the half (teeth grind here, must call it a 21k race!). Another friend also suggested the same. And my answer to both was the same. It was always about the full, not the half. All the preparation, the long races, the trail runs and races were aimed at preparing for the full. But, as I alluded to in my last post, tying my fortunes to one race is dangerous. But, this race has got its hooks into me. Can't explain it. My wife commented, "so now you want to do another one?!". Well, yes, but I haven't done this one!

In the interim, I am on the organising committee for the new Inverloch parkrun, essentially as one of the Run Directors. It will keep me occupied, as well as serve to remind me of what I am missing. Gives me a great incentive to keep pushing for a return. So where does this leave this blog? Well, I still have a marathon to nail (somewhere, hopefully Melbourne), and there is the lure of doing an ultra next year. Haven't decided on a course/distance yet, but there are several candidates being lined up. Mostly though, the short to medium term is about rehabbing and returning to running. Long term race plans can then be made. And rather than this blog turn into one giant injury rehab report, I intend to report on what some of my friends are up to running wise. Haven't got rid of me just yet!

Andersons Inlet, the view from the finish line at Inverloch parkrun.

Until next time....